


Dirty Words

by orphan_account



Category: AFI
Genre: M/M, PWP, Satire, crash love era, fanfiction jokes, fanfiction tropes, meta fiction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-03-07 08:42:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3168614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jade feels like his sex life isn't quite done justice by the terrible fanfiction he encounters online, so he and Davey have really good sex just to prove  all those awful stories wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirty Words

**Author's Note:**

> This story was written to fulfill a prompt. Said prompt was a list of unattractive words, one of which I remember being 'toenail.' I don't remember the rest. I had to include them all, but have the story stay sexy. Not sure if I succeeded, it was a long time ago. 
> 
> This story also mentions the soon-to-be dead website, afislash.com, which contains much of the terrible fan fiction mentioned herewith. I started writing AFI fic on that site ten years ago, and am currently in the process of transferring all my work here. I will sorely miss afislash, because although it was filled with many atrocities, it was also filled with great talent and great community and taught me how to write like the writer I am today. RIP afislash. I hope that readers from this website will still find the tropes relevant.

The glow of the computer screen illuminated Jade's face, casting his mask of horror in an eerie light that made him look even more disturbed. He was sitting at his desk in his messy room, mug half full of coffee and cream long since cold. The look on Jade's face had practically curdled said cream in said coffee. There were two things that made him homicidal: When people walked really slow in front of him and he wanted to punch their heads, and when people emailed him fanfiction, thinking it was funny, would give him a good laugh or some shit. "Fuck you. Very hard." was the eloquent reply he emailed RJ after RJ so kindly sent him a link to that godforsaken ring of porn peddlers, AFIslash.com. RJ should have known that no matter how much Jade hated the idea of slash fanfiction, hated the idea of fans knowing... he couldn't exit that damn website without reading a few stories on the most recent page. It was like a disease. They were like crack, trashy and dirty and gross and so irresistible. 

Jade made a mental note that every time RJ, or anyone else for that matter, sent him a link reading, "you have to see this!" without any explanation, that he should avoid that motherfucker like the plague. Because undoubtedly, it would lead him to that dreaded warning page, emblazoned with a wordy disclaimer about gay sex and legality and ownership. Oh, and of course, a fucking huge black and white picture of Davey and Adam all close together, like the website promised loads of porn concerning fuckin' Adam of all people boning Davey. This was Jade's first downfall. Every goddamn time he saw it he had to click on the ominous "enter" sign just to reassure himself that everyone still wrote more stupid, poorly executed, overly wordy or under spell-checked stories about Davey fucking him and not fucking Adam. So then he had to carefully examine all the numbers corresponding with the pairing names to make sure that things were as should be. No matter how much it bothered Jade to know people were writing about what they thought he and Davey did behind closed doors, it bothered him more to know that people were writing about what they thought Davey and Adam or Hunter or Smith, his own goddamn brother, did behind closed doors. So he read a few shitty Javey oneshots, just to make sure. 

And of course, it led him here, staring at the screen at 2am, utterly horrified and slack jawed at how awful teenage female virgins were at writing play by play gay sex. Why did they think Davey, with all his girth and whatnot they undeniably had to witness live when they saw an AFI show, could just push into Jade's tiny, unprepared asshole? And why did they think Jade would like it? He opened another story, skipping all the stupid, boring description about their utter devotion to each other or whatever, and scrolling down to the inevitable sex scene. Bingo. 

"You know, your face is going to get stuck like that, darling." Davey's voice rang through the dark room, scaring the shit out of Jade, who launched up from his chair and stepped in the cord of his laptop so forcefully it almost yanked it off the table to a certain death. "Shit, Dave," he cursed, carefully rearranging his laptop to ensure its safety. "You can't sneak up on me like that, I'll murder an electronic." 

"I knocked, no one answered," Davey shrugged, stepping over heaps of newly clean laundry and half unpacked suitcases on his way over to Jade. They'd just finished a leg of the Crash Love tour and were still in the midst of unpacking for their break back at home, currently residing at Davey's Oakland household. Jade had taken extensive measures to ensure no one knew about his long term love affair with his band mate, including enlisting his close lesbian friend Marissa Festa to pose as his fake girlfriend. The arrangement worked out magnificently well for more than a few years, perpetuated by her making a few appearances at award shows and AFI concerts, taking a bunch of coupley pictures with Jade and posting them on Myspace... and seeing as they were friends they hung out anyway...it was no big deal. It should have satisfied everyone. But no, not the fangirls. People still wrote fan fiction about him, regardless of all of his flawlessly planned con artistry. 

"Uhh Sorry. Distracted." Jade answered, hastily exiting all windows on his computer before Davey successfully foraged a path to him, standing behind his office chair and rubbing his shoulders affectionately. 

"By what? Illegally streaming Law and Order episodes?" 

"Yes." Jade lied. Davey leaned down, dropping his head to Jade's shoulder and kissing his cheek chastely, stubble scratching against Jade's neck.

"Mmhm. Right. You were reading fan fiction, weren't you?" Davey whispered, tongue flicking out against Jade's ear. Jade shivered. 

"No. " He pouted firmly, pushing Davey off his shoulder. 

"Right. SVU forces you to make those awful, disgusted, profaned faces." 

"Well yeah, it's about pedophiles." Jade defended himself. He practically heard Davey roll his eyes, turning his head to look shamefully at him. "I'm a shitty liar, aren't I?" 

"The worst." Davey smiled kindly, eyes lit and framed in excessive laugh lines.

"Hey, at least I have three quarters of our fan base fooled, don't I?" He winked, biting Davey's chin, snaking an arm behind his head to grope blindly at Davey's shoulder and back. 

"Yup, all but those pesky, perceptive little bastards you were just indulging by reading. Seriously Jade. Let it go. It doesn't make it go away to obsess over it, right?" Davey argued, disentangling himself from Jade and coming to stand beside him. He ruffled his hair, messing up all of Jade's meticulous work.

"Quit." Jade batted Davey's hands away, still sort of humiliated at being caught in the act. Davey sighed, flopping down on the bed, a messy sprawl of limbs listening intently for the finalizing snap of Jade's laptop closing. Shortly after the satisfying sound Jade collapsed next to Davey, tangling their limbs together and burrowing his face into Davey's smooth chest. 

"It's so bad though. I mean, if they're going to write about our sex lives, can't they at least make it good?" He complained, propping himself up on his elbows so he could lean over Davey, who was shirtless and in sweat pants, unshaven, unwashed, and generally tired and sort of sick looking like he often did after a bunch of tour dates. In fan fiction, Davey was never anything less than positively radiant, perpetually eyeliner, mesh, and pleather clad. Jade wondered if a lot of fan fiction writers had even seen a picture of Davey taken after 2007 or something, when he was still sporting false eyelashes. Davey didn't even wear make up anymore, but a lot of the writers were still under the impression he all but had a vagina. 

"Because they're all virgins. And if they're not virgins, they're anal virgins. And that's the truth of the matter with us, right? anal." Davey said this very seriously, eyes wide in the semi-darkness. Jade laughed, rubbing his palm up Davey's nude chest, nails digging into his sternum. 

"But seriously, Dave. It's just awful."

"I believe you." Davey nodded, rubbing at the hefty bags under his eyes, snuggling up closer to Jade. "Now let it go." He begged. Jade let it go for abut 2.5 seconds before he just exploded, bursting out with another comment about fan fiction. 

"Dave, what do you think of your....privates as?" 

"Privates?! Privates?! What the fuck, Jade? I certainly don't think of them as my privates." Davey barked defensively. 

"Then what do you regard your nether regions as?" Jade rephrased. 

"What, my dick?" Davey answered, grabbing said junk with his hand as if to clarify, one eyebrow cocked. "Where is this conversation going?" 

"Yeah, right, your dick. And when it's hard?" 

"Um...my...hard dick? I don't fucking know, Jade, is this about the fan fiction?" Davey said, rolling his eyes again. 

"Right! Hard dick. Cock maybe. But hard member? Turgid member? What the fuck?" 

Davey glared at Jade, pretty mouth slightly ajar. He looked offended. "They call my dick a member?" He asked, palming said appendage with his hand. He glanced down at it, soft and dormant in his loose sweats. It was still an impressive thing, even in a state of flaccidity, and the phrase "member" was pretty demeaning, defaming. "Shit. It's not a member." He complained, peering under his waistband as if to ensure that this title didn't actually shrink the body part in question. He released his pants with a satisfying smack sound against his taut abdomen, looking back at Jade with a perplexed expression. "That sucks."

"Yeah. It does. And on top of all the 'members' and 'shafts' and whatnot, we also don't fuck We make love." Jade said, horrified. "Everything is all loving thrusts, and we always fuck- pardon, make love in the missionary position."

"Whaaaat?! That's no fun. That's not even physically possible sometimes." Davey bitched, sitting up abruptly. He flexed his bicep, trying to prove to himself he was still a man. 

"It sounds like they write us as chicks." 

"They do. Not to mention there's never any bodily fluids." 

"No jizz?! But I do love a good faceful of your jizz" Davey joked, fake-pouting a little for good measure. 

"No jizz. And if there is jizz, it's not called jizz it's called 'essence' and it's described only as 'white.' Like, they completely ignore the fact that it's all gelatinous and sort of looks and tastes like snot." Jade said disdainfully, scooting up so he was sitting with his back against the headboard. "I mean, if you're gonna write about our sex life, at least do it justice. And if not justice, make it realistic?" 

"I can practically feel the bile rising in my goddamn throat, Jade, thanks. Never use the word gelatinous again." 

"Sorry." 

"It's all good, nothing a little of your essence can't fix," Davey joked, smiling fondly at Jade while rummaging through the bedside table for the nail clippers. "I need to cut my toenails, they're getting scary." He added on an unrelated note. Jade shook his head. 

"Nope, you can't. That's the other thing, in fan fiction you can't cut your nails. Gross body parts don't exist, like there are no nostrils or toenails. Toenails don't exist in the world of fan fiction, neither do nail clippers. If it's not sexy, it doesn't happen. Especially to you, because in every story, you're like, perfect." 

"Well, at least they got something right." Davey scoffed, bent over his foot and wielding the clippers, too lazy to turn the light on. 

"Oh please." Jade said, flicking Davey on the shoulder with his thumb and forefinger. "You wish. It's not the kind of perfect you actually are, though, it's like...ridiculous perfect. Like making you into a delicate, perpetually beautiful, effeminate, over emotional woman. A delicate little flower." 

"What." Davey said, dead pan. He looked somberly at Jade. "delicate?" he asked evenly, dropping his foot. "Yup. Like, when we make love, you usually take it up the ass. Not me." Jade assured Davey, flipping the fringe of hair from his eyes. He looked innocently up at Davey, eyes big and sappy and adorable like a puppy or a Cupie doll. He looked effeminate. Beautiful. Over emotional. Fuckin' delicate. Davey wasn't fuckin' delicate. And he certainly didn't take it up the ass. Well, most of the time, but that was a different story. 

Then and there, Davey Havok made up his mind, flung the nail clippers to the carpet, and straddled Jade. "Whoa..." Jade said, a little startled. "What are you doing?"

Davey ignored him, arranging himself on his hips and looking down at his prey, his prize, his fucking delicate little flower. He started kissing him, claiming Jade's soft, surprised mouth with his own. Jade was still for a second before kissing back, balking only slightly under the force of Davey's lips, teeth, tongue. He was really getting into it, owning Jade, possessing him, probing the hidden spaces in his mouth with fierce deliberation like he was trying to prove a point, tasting vaguely bitter like the green tea he'd been drinking. His tongue swept the roof of Jade's mouth, the crooked surfaces of his teeth, anything he could reach. Jade couldn't exactly breath but he was getting half hard, turned on by Davey's dominance, the self assured manner he was showing Jade who was boss. Yup, Jade could dig it. 

"I am not delicate" Davey growled when he pulled back, biting down hard on Jade's sensitive lower lip. "What the fuck are those fan fiction writers smoking? I'm bigger than you." Before Jade could answer or defend himself or his size or anything, Davey was upon him again, kissing him hard, grinding their hips together, letting Jade feel that he owned him, fair and square. He released Jade's mouth only to reattach his own teeth to the soft skin of his neck, nipping at his pulse and sucking hard, drawing the blood to the surface in dark, purple blemishes of ownership. "Mine. To fuck." He mumbled breathlessly, ignoring the way Jade was squirming around underneath him, neck ticklish. 

"Make love..." Jade reminded him. Davey bit down hard in warning, eliciting a pained hiss from Jade. Davey had had enough of this stupid fan fiction shit. He was going to flip Jade over and fuck his asshole with his dick and fill him with fucking jizz if it was the last thing he did. And he wasn't going to look delicate while he did it. 

"Dave, could you refrain from biting me so goddamn hard?" Jade complained, writhing around, bucking up so his hips locked in with Davey's, bones grinding against him, flat planes of his body mirrored. "Nope." He answered. The friction they were creating was maddening, skin already hot, sweat beading in the creases. Jade's hands were rucking possessively up Davey's back, over the rippling, black inked flesh. "You know what I'm gonna do to you?" Davey breathed against Jade, pinning his arms down. Jade shook his head no, breath and lips ghosting across Davey's, less than a hair's width away. He was hard in his pajama pants, loving the insistent weight of Davey's lithe, mostly naked body against him. "What?" Jade breathed. 

"I'm gonna take your privates, " Davey started, smiling at how Jade cringed, manipulating him so he arched his back and allowed Davey to yank his sweats off his hips, "in my mouth." He kissed down his torso, bunching his dirty teeshirt up around his neck, not bothering to take it off. His teeth left red marks that looked grey in the dark; he bit down hard on Jade's left nipple, swirling his tongue around it to take away the sting, fist gripping tight around Jade's half hard dick, feeling it swell in his palm. "Oh are you?" Jade whispered, tangling his fingers in Davey's short, messy hair, tightening his grip and pushing down. "Well then, get on with it." 

Davey bit him again, teeth sinking into the other nipple, making Jade arch away from him, whimpering a little. "Okay, neverfuckingmind that part, why don't you grab the goddamn lube from the bedside table, you pushy little dick." Davey bitched, licking down Jade's ribs, kissing each individual letter of the "committed" inked onto Jade's ribs, as he always did at least once whe they fucked, as if to assure Jade that the ink implied more that just being committed to edge. "I was just kidding." Jade said anxiously. relaxing his grip in Davey's hair. "Seriously." 

"Good." Davey mumbled, scooting down so he was level with Jade's hard-on, fastening his mouth onto him, humming slightly. He swirled his tongue, coating each reachable inch of skin with saliva, grazing the underside with his teeth in warning. He worked up a pretty consistent pace, sliding his lips back and forth across Jade's dick, tonguing his piss slit, swallowing the first oily drops of pre cum that slicked his lips. And then, without warning he popped off, leaving Jade's cock bobbing in the air, wet and red and raging hard. 

"Dude." Jade complained, clambering up onto his elbows to glare at Davey, who was sitting back innocently on his feet, head cocked to the side, sweats tented.

"What?" Davey said. 

"You stopped. You're an ass." Jade grumbled, tightening his own hand around his cock, stroking upwards. He was about to tell Davey that he could play this game too when Davey actually slapped his hand away, pouncing upon him and flipping him over, pushing his face into the mattress to his ass was presented miraculously, a perfect target. Bulls eye. Davey held him down, fumbling across the bedside table for the lube.

"Jesus Christ Dave--" Jade started but was abruptly put in his place by Davey's fingers, coated in slippery lube, being worked into his vulnerable ass. His first instinct was to tense and tighten and pull away, but years of experience taught him to just relax, let Davey touch him and push inside of him and take over. After all, if he just let it happen, it felt really fucking good.   
"Yeah that shut you right up, didn't it." 

"Being anally plundered will do that to you." Jade mumbled quietly, wincing as Davey forced another finger inside of him, crooking his digits so they pressed against all kinds of wonderful nerves inside of him. He shuddered, realizing the for the thousandth time that no matter which way you tossed the dice, he was gay. Really fucking gay because he just loved having things inside of his ass. And not just any things, but namely things attached to Davey Havok's body. Considering that Davey was a dude, if that didn't qualify Jade as a homo, nothing did. "God, Dave that feels so fucking good," He whispered, backing up against Davey's hand. 

He felt Davey bend down, lick greedily around his own fingers, under them, between Jade's balls. And then all too soon, Davey slid out, flicking his tongue against Jade's ass one last time before taking his own dick in hand, aligning it. Jade braced himself, waited for it, waited to be penetrated by that big, huge, fucking, amazing-

"How does my hard member feel" Davey gasped, pushing inside Jade's loosened, eager body in one fluid motion, hips smacking against his ass with a satisfying smack of flesh against flesh. "Lovingly thrusting into you? Preparing to fill you with my essence? " Davey almost kind of laughed at himself, a ragged breath escaping his lips. Jade groaned, face screwed up, trying to get used to the always shocking sensation of being totally full of Davey. 

"I think I just lost my hard-on, dude" Jade scoffed. 

"What? Too big? After all these years?" 

"No, I was referring to the fanfiction language, I told--oh god--fuck, Dave..." Jade started to complain about Davey's word choice when Davey started to move, sliding almost completely out of his tight ass before slamming back in deep, holding Jade's hips firmly in clenched hands. Jade collapsed, dropping from his hands and knees to his elbows and knees, forehead pressed against his forearm. "Fuck." he whimpered. 

"That's what I thought." Davey sighed, repeating the motion with a breathy moan, impaling Jade, whose dick (despite prior claims) was rock hard and pointing straight out away from his body dripping precum onto the sheets. Speaking of sheets, Jade had a bit of a mouthful of them, thinking it might be a good idea to stuff them between his teeth right now to prevent biting off his own tongue. He had a habit of self destructing when Davey fucked him really good, of biting himself so hard he drew blood, digging his nails into his palms, banging his head against the headboard, pulling muscles, and on and on. It felt that good, and Jade was that accident prone.

Davey's fingers were kneading his ass, mauling the flesh there, palming the perfect freckled white of his thighs and waist. He'd gotten a steady pace now, fucking in and out of Jade firmly, digging deeper each time, sending Jade lurching into the mattress with every thrust. The slow burn of his flesh sliding in and out of Jade was familiar and welcome, and Jade decided there was nothing like this, nothing like being fucked, nothing like backing himself up onto Davey. "Fuck, Dave, harder." He panted, not past begging. "Please..." 

"Mmm, my name again," Davey purred, scraping lines down Jade's spine, pounding into him with abandon. 

"Dave," Jade gasped, clenching around Davey in order to hear him gasp. "Dave, Dave, fucking love you, Dave, fuck me, Dave," Jade rambled. And right there, in the middle of Jade mindlessly babbling at him, Davey stopped mid thrust, hips halted. "What you?"

"Fuck. Me." Jade ground out, punctuating his sentence with little jolts of his hips, trying to get Davey to goddamn move again. 

"You mean make love to me? Davey said sweetly, easing back into Jade agonizingly slow, inching back out when Jade tried to meet him halfway, impale himself on Davey's dick. 

"You've got to be fucking kidding me, man."

"Nope." Davey sighed, letting his fingers slide down Jade's cock, collecting the slick pre cum, bringing it to his lips. "Say it." 

"uhhh...make..." Jade shut up. "This is stupid, Dave." He looked around his shoulder, cheeks burning. Davey was stern, beautiful, jaw set and eyes sparkling. Damn, if Jade could say to no to that…

"Make love to me, Dave." He practically gagged, words stumbling awkwardly from his mouth. 

"With what?"

"Your...hard...member...." 

"And?" 

"Loving...thrusts. Happy?" Jade glared back at Davey, arching his back even more dramatically than it already was, spine curling so his ass was perfectly fuckable. "Now, will you goddamn make me come?" Jade begged. Davey's face remained impassive, lips pursing almost undetectably. Fine then. 

"Jesus fucking Christ, okay okay, Dave, make love to me, baby, lovingly thrust me with your hard member and pump me full of your white, un snot like essence you perfect angel." Jade said all in a rush, feeling the tops of his ears practically burst into flame he felt so stupid. And to make the whole thing worse, instead of listening to him and getting on with the making love or whatever, Davey just started laughing hysterically, kind of laying on Jade's back and just laughing. 

"That's better" he choked out, body heaving in fits of giggles. Jade leaned forward so Davey's dick slid out of him easily, path made easier by lubrication and Davey's spit, and them slammed back with force. 

"Oh" Davey gasped, hands clenching across Jade's abdomen. "Shit."

"Yeah, that's right." Jade bitched, reaching behind him for Davey's neck, finding it hot and slick with sweat. The air was close and heavy around them, settling in as perspiration on their flesh. Davey was done teasing, finding his limbs shaky and tense with need, dick positively ready to explode with how fucking tight and warm Jade was around him. Not to mention the sight of Jade completely humiliated, desperate, owned, delicate...spread out for him with his ass open and ready and in the fucking air, well that was enough for Davey to stop being a prick and get on with it. 

He held Jade in place, aligning him against his own hips and fucking him hard, getting lost in the smack of wet skin and the little noises Jade made, yes and please and his name, over and over again like a prayer. He gritted his teeth, a metallic taste on his tongue from lashing it too hard. The pierced membrane underneath it sometimes got frayed and bloody during sex, when he lost all sense of his own body from becoming so absorbed in Jade's, and ground it against his own teeth. But what a body to be absorbed in...all that pale flesh, splayed out across the dark sheets, bright with a sheen of sweat, blush spread like a smear of blood across cream.

Davey was starting to see stars, hazy silver explosions gathering behind his eyes, and figured it was a good time to spit in his palm and reach around Jade's front to fist his dick. Any longer and Davey would be too blissed out to find it in the midst of all of those loving thrusts. He gripped Jade, smiling faintly at the way he yelped when Davey started stoking fast, hard, working Jade in a way that would make it impossible to last. "Good?" He panted heavily in Jade's ear, hair plastered to his forehead with perspiration, the back of his neck damp with rivulets of his sweat. 

The sheets were clinging to both of them as Davey pounded into Jade, nails of his free hand biting cruelly into the soft flesh of his thighs, stomach, back, all he could reach. The sight of Jade's mouth slack with desire, absofuckinglutely loving getting screwed regardless of the degradation Davey often got off to, was enough to send Davey into conniptions every time. He pumped Jade's cock, wrist sore with the effort, aching in the best sort of way, heart jumping when Jade answered him with a weak "yes..." 

"Jade," he gasped one last time, thrusting deep and surprising them both by coming quietly. A series of hisses and tiny whimpers punctuating each time he shook, convulsing inside Jade, hips jolting against his ass in short, electric jerks. Jade yelped shamelessly, reaching behind him blindly, in order to take a fistful of Davey's thigh and hold it there, ensuring that once Davey came he wouldn't pull out and leave him fucking empty. When Jade came, he wanted to still feel Davey's girth stretching him to his full extent, inescapable and stinging. His limbs weakened from orgasm, Davey heaved himself up from Jade's back shakily, hips still locked against Jade's ass as he stroked him in increasingly lazier strokes. "Dude finish me off, I'm so close," Jade said breathlessly, moving his hips to meet Davey's hand halfway. Davey ignored him, backing up and sliding fluidly out of Jade's ass, wincing all the while. 

"What the fuck! No, stay," Jade complained hoarsely, clambering clumsily to all fours again, weight barely supported by his unsteady arms. "You're--"

"Shut up." Davey mumbled softly, lowering himself onto his back so his head was between Jade's knees, boner in perfect alignment with those perfect, heart shaped lips. Oh. Jade shut up, deciding that if Davey wasn't going to stay inside of him, under him was a close second. 

Davey settled in, hands firm on the backs of Jade's thighs to steady himself and keep Jade in place, right where he wanted him. Then he tilted his head up, very aware of the fact Jade was watching him between his arms, eyes locked in on Davey's wet, swollen lips. "Fuck my mouth," he demanded, voice breathy but sure, fingers tightening minimally on Jade's ass. "Come on." Jade flicked the sweaty strands of hair from his eyes, ignoring the way his stomach clenched and dropped at the sound of Davey's voice, at the dirty, dirty things it was taunting him with. Apparently all of Davey's prior pretense, the game he was playing with his make loves and loving thrusts was mysteriously lost post orgasm. Jade only had a brief moment to question Davey's motives before his cock was suddenly encased in overwhelming wet heat. "Jesus Christ fuck Dave, you have to warn me when you--"

"Du seriuthly shu-thup" Davey mumbled, mouth full. 

"What was that?" Jade asked, just to be snarky. He was rewarded with a sharp smack on the ass, coupled with a warning graze of Davey's teeth on the underside of his dick. His lips were promptly sealed. Which was fine anyway, seeing as the quicker he shut up the quicker Davey was going to proceed with the really great head. 

Purring a little, Davey started bobbing his head, neck strained up from the mattress, swirling his tongue in hungry patterns, dipping down as far as he could go so his lips actually brushed against the coarse hair at the base of Jade's cock. Jade sighed, breathing things quietly to himself as sweat beaded on his chest. He shifted all his weight to one hand, fisting the other in Davey's hair and yanking him back and forward again, warranting a slight cough, followed by a moan of approval. Jade continued directing Davey's head, really fucking his mouth like he'd told him to. When Davey asked for something Jade generally did it, otherwise fearing Davey would quit sucking all together. It wasn't beyond him to deny Jade sex for not following orders, the cocky bastard. "Like it?" Jade choked out over the faint buzzing in the back of his head, the beginnings of a roar of oncoming orgasm. Davey nodded eagerly, sucking forcefully, cheeks hollowing in with enthusiasm. Queer. 

Jade's tongue swept his own lips, tasting the salt of both their sweat there, the sour bite of combined saliva. He was close, muscles gathering and quivering as he released his firm grip on Davey's hair, desperately needing to support his own weight when he came. "Fuck, Dave, fuck, fuck..." he chanted, getting lost in the feeling of Davey's skilled mouth sucking and licking and going deeper and deeper, deeper than Jade used to think was possible until he started fucking someone like Davey...Davey who was currently sliding his index finger vertically down the crack of Jade's ass, digit easily sliding into Jade's pre-loosened body, sinking in up to the second knuckle, joined by another finger. And with that, Jade was gone. 

It felt too goddamn good, too good to even stand, so intense that it almost hurt when Jade came with a hoarse scream, abruptly lurching up into the sitting position on Davey's chest. His own hand flew to his mouth, fingers tight between teeth, face screwed up into something probably horrible and embarrassing but it was dark and no one was filming so who even cared. He came in fierce jolts, unaware of the way Davey had to hold himself up with his abdominals to even keep Jade's cock in his mouth when he came. This was a pattern, Jade moving around so much in the throes of orgasm that by the time he finished shooting his pay load, they were halfway across the bedroom, a very exasperated Davey sprawled in some miraculously uncomfortable contortionist-status porn star position he got twisted into courtesy of Jade's acrobatics. That was the extreme Davey was willing to go to in order to keep Jade's dick in his mouth long enough to swallow. 

They collapsed once Jade had quit spurting, Jade in a crumpled, shuddering heap at the head of the bed, Davey panting underneath him, jizz and spit smeared all over his chin. Jade's now soft cock was somewhere in his hair probably, which was wonderful because now he fucking had essence for hair gel, in case he needed the front to stand up like Morrissey or a cockatoo or whatever. Fantastic. "Off. You're crushing me." He said, shoving upwards on Jade's heaving chest, trying to wiggle out from underneath him. 

"I can't move," Jade protested, voice too sated and awed to be misconstrued as whiny. It was only because of this tone, which made Davey feel pretty goddamn proud of his mad blowjob skills, that he didn't further push the matter of Jade getting up off his face and removing his dick from his hair. Instead he huffed, settling for a few rounds of eye rolling, letting his hands graze up and down Jade's smooth sides. 

"You're lucky you way ninety pounds, darling, because otherwise I would have asphyxiated already." Davey sighed, licking his lips, collecting what he could reach of Jade's spunk. 

"Sorry, sorry. You just...rid me of my balance. Literally."

"I know, trust me. I pulled like five muscles trying to keep sucking you." 

"Old man." Jade joked, finally heaving himself up from Davey, groaning. "That was awesome though, seriously." He sighed, lowering himself onto his back next to Davey, relaxing against him with their side flush. They kissed, Jade cringing a little at the bitter, salty bite of his own come on Davey's lips. 

"I'm all over your face," he whispered when they pulled apart, still breathless from the physical exertion of coming. 

"I like it," Davey shrugged. 

They lay quietly for a while, side by side with legs lazily intertwined, eyes long since adjusted to the darkness. Davey's skin was cooling, sticking to Jade's still warm flesh. "Jade?" He asked after awhile, shifting to his side, head pillowed on Jade's bony chest still, tongue flicking out absentmindedly to taste his sweat.

"huh?" 

"Did you call me...angel when we were fucking?" Davey asked slowly, one eyebrow raised, eyes dark but glinting, mouth twitching to conceal a smile. "Because if you did, that's really fucking gay." 

"Call you angel? Never." Jaded said, trying to sound nonchalant, but his cheeks growing immediately hot as he squirmed next to Davey. 

"Jade, you're a terrible liar." Davey said softly, kissing up Jade's sternum, neck, chin. 

"Okay, okay, okay!" Jade said exasperatedly, shoving Davey off of him and crossing his arms like a pissed little kid who just got denied ice cream or something.

"It was only because you made me."

"Darling I didn't make you do anything, that was all you."

"Dude! You made me talk like I was in a fan fiction! And I did it! There, are you happy you sadistic bastard?" He huffily rolled over on his side, presenting a stubborn back to Davey, who was smirking, satisfied. Jade didn't know it but he was pretty adorable. Davey liked making him flustered; it was so easy.

"So that was from a fan fiction, huh? Do we frequently refer to one another as angel in fan fiction?" Davey asked, sidling up next to Jade and running his nails affectionately across his ribs and back, making the skin gather and prickle into gooseflesh, white and kissable in the moonlight. Jade remained silent, loosening his defensive fetal pose a little, but still turned away like a headstrong mule. Davey nuzzled into his back, purring.

"Quit it man, your beard is scratchy." Jade mumbled, smiling in spite of himself, reaching behind him to ruffle Davey's overgrown imitation Morrissey hair, jizz and all. "And no, we don't call each other angel, you never call me that. I only call you that."

"Really?! I can't imagine why." Davey said. 

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No dude, come on. Me? an angel? Don't they know I'm a hardcore atheist slash borderline Satanist?" Davey asked, thoroughly perplexed, absentmindedly fingering the silver Zu Boutique inverted crucifix he'd been wearing as of late, then glancing down to the matching cross shaved into his happy trail. "I mark my body with antichristian idolatry and they still call me an angel? I must be beautiful." He mused. 

"I don't really think they put that much thought into it, Dave. I think they were just referring to these." Jade rolled Davey over onto his stomach in order to point to his tattooed wings, ignoring the way he squeaked in protest. He gazed down at the detailed black ink feathers, getting a little dizzy when he kissed the strip of white flesh between them, the space marked by Davey's shoulder blades. 

"Well that's original," Davey scoffed, scratching his head, momentarily silent. "You know, I kind of liked it."

"Me half-lucidly calling you angel in the midst of bad virgin sex euphemisms when all I really wanted was for you to quit being a damn cock tease?"

"Yeah," Davey shrugged, "It was ironic." 

"Well...I am utterly devoted to you," Jade said sheepishly. 

"Damn right you are, my Delicate Little Flower," Said Davey, nuzzling into Jade's hair. He'd show those fan fiction writers who was boss.


End file.
